(937): How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Submission by ottotheoctopus
(314): You just said we could build a blanket and pillow “fuck fort.” Of course I’m never leaving you.
Submission by ottotheoctopus
(641): So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
(563): 1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Submission by ottotheoctopus
(504): That’s the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Submission by ottotheoctopus
