Texts from Ponyville

(641): she just walked in and said “well I got peed on again…”

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(662): Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.

(1-662): I don’t think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.

A different take on a text we had at the very beginning of Texts From Ponyville

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(206): I think I just ate eggs off a plate covered in cocaine.

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(209): We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.

(1-209): Duh.

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(302): trying to bond with my sister… It’s like getting to know a person I never met that I don’t like

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(509): I’m drunk at the doctor. It’s not that fun. Overrated in fact.

(509): My leg won’t stop wagging. It’s like it’s congratulating my vagina.

(509): Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish

(678): did u really fuck my little sister???

(706): im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with “mess”

(706): Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?